Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Missing You Today...

Today would be my Fatdaddy's 89th birthday! He is celebrating his birthday this year in that big deluxe mansion in the sky. If you're not up to speed about my Fatdaddy, you can read this.
Fatdaddy is what I called my dad's dad.

I've thought about him a lot today. More than usual. I've missed him more than usual today too. I want to go visit him and give him a big hug and kiss on the cheek. Sometimes when I think about going to visit him, I have to remind myself that I can't. I physically have to remind myself. Weird, huh? It's been almost a year since he passed away but yet it still doesn't seem real sometimes. I sort of saw him as this strong, invincible, ox of a man so it's still hard to believe he's gone. I wish I lived in town so I could go visit his and Rae Rae's graves more. I've been a few times, but I wish I could go more often. 

I so often think back on the memories I have of them....the many cooking sessions with Rae Rae, the countless times Fatdaddy and I fished together in the river behind their house, and I'd sit in the backyard watching him scale the fish, and the many days I spent with them after school before my parents got off work. Those memories always seem to come rushing back to me when I least expect them to. There was a day not too long ago when Joseph, Hudson, and I were out and about and out of nowhere, I saw the most beautiful rainbow. Just as I saw the rainbow, a song came on my iPod that always makes me cry and always makes me think of Fatdaddy. If you've never heard "When" by Javier Colon, you should listen. He was the winner of the 1st season of The Voice and is fantastic. This song came on the radio just as I saw that beautiful rainbow, and I was immediately back there fishing with my Fatdaddy as a little girl. It's amazing the things that stir up those memories.
Sometimes big things, sometimes the smallest of things.

I am so incredibly thankful he got to know his great-grandson. He loved him in a HUGE way in such a small amount of time. You saw the love he had for Hudson the minute he saw him or talked about him. I sure would love to see them together now, though. Oh the fun they'd have! Fatdaddy was a highly intelligent man, but he was also a cut-up. He knew how to make you laugh. He was a man who loved life and those around him. He'd do anything for you. He lived big and loved bigger.

Two(three) of the greats in my life. Fatdaddy and my Papa. Thankful to have my Papa! 
He's an amazing man!!!!!

Another great. My dad is a product of my Fatdaddy in so many wonderful ways!! Being with my dad also makes me feel close to Fatdaddy in a way. Their mannerisms are so much alike, as are the things they say and the way they same them. They also have that same big, caring heart with a passion for doing for others. Great men, I tell ya! I'm surrounded by some GREAT men!

As I reflect on Fatdaddy today, it's really not much different from any other day. I think about him at some point every day, and when I think about how much I miss him and want to give him a hug, and how much I wish he was here to see Hudson, I remind myself that he is where he's supposed to be. He's home. He's whole. He's healed. He's my heart. 

And I have sweet pictures like this to look back on when my heart gets weary. 
I can't wait to share these with Hudson one day. And tell him about this incredible man who loved him so much.

And I'm thankful for videos like these.....this is priceless and so special to me.
It will be to Hudson one day too.

Happy Birthday, Fatdaddy. I love you and miss you every day.
Tell Rae Rae I love her.

Wait for me.


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